The reason I just love Beyonce with dark hair more than blonde is because the bitch looks like she will snatch your spine out of your back and laugh as you fall to the ground like a puddle. With dark hair she really looks like she can be Baphomet’s mother. With dark hair my God looks like the African Queen who sold other Africans to white men in the 1600s. Dark haired Beyonce looks mean enough to slap your mother in the face with her church hat on the sabbath. Dark haired Beyonce would plant drugs in your car and report your license plate. Dark haired Beyonce is the bitch to key your car if you cheat on her and engrave her signature in it and dare you to call the police. Dark haired Beyonce is the bitch who will sleep with your dad while your mom is out of town and still tell you your outfit is cute at school. That is why dark haired Beyonce is my favorite.
• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.
• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.
• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL
• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.
• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.
• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink you have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.
• Get clear ice cubes by boiling water before freezing it
• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.
• If you accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.
• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria.
• Make bug bites stop itching with a banana peel.
• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.
• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the http:// with https://
• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, print it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.
• Pick a flavor of gum you don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.
• Place a piece of bread in a container with your homemade cookies and they will stay soft.
• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.
• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.
• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every day before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.
• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, you won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and you won’t either.
• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom to steam it flat.
• The night before, place things you don’t want to forget the next morning on top of your shoes.
• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.
• When cleaning windows use newspapers or coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.
• When microwaving bread products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your bread for going spongy.
• When you move into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on facebook (privately if preferred) so you can use the reference date as proof you didn’t do it.
• When searching plane tickets online delete your cookies prior, prices go up when you visit a site multiple times.
Baby you don’t have to know exactly who you are
Because figuring it all out could be the best part
Don’t quit your daydream
Don’t forget to breathe
Who you want to be is only up to you
Sometimes you may crawl
Let them think that you’re small
Cause it’s so worth the fall when you land where you want to